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A Pucking Good Christmas
By DL Gallie
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Release Date: December 1
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‘𝑻𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏.
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Excerpt:
Feeling somewhat human again, I swing open the door and step out into the hallway only to come face-to-face with Stefan. “Shit, Stefan,” I pant, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
“Are you okay, Chels?” He reaches out and rests his hand on my arm. That caring gesture reminds me of the man he once was.
Shaking my head, I quickly refute his claim and offer a smile, which I know isn’t coming across as sincere. “I’m fine, Stefan.”
“You look a little green, Chels. You sure you’re okay?” I nod my reassurance again and then he tacks on, “For a minute there, I thought you might have had a bun in the oven.”
My eyes widen and when he sees my reaction, his open too, mimicking mine. “Fuck me, you’re pregnant?”
“Yes,” I hiss, “but Kallen doesn’t know and you can’t tell him. Don’t be a douche and ruin my Christmas surprise.”
“You are the worst secret keeper ever. How does he not know?”
“Please,” I plead with him, ignoring his secret jab. “I ... I, please don’t tell Kal.”
“Don’t tell Kal what?” the man in question asks, stalking toward us like a man on a mission.
“That she’s still in love with me,” Stefan cockily taunts my husband.
“Yeah, I call bullshit on that.” He looks to me. “What are you not telling me, babe?”
“I … I … I was sick again, Kal.”
“Again?” he repeats, concern laces his one-word reply. He steps in front of me and rests his palm over my forehead, checking my temperature and being all swoony. “I really think you need to go to the doctor, you’ve been sick lots lately, baby, and I hate seeing you like this. You don’t have a temperature, so that’s a good thing.”
“I’m fine,” I tell him, sliding my arms around his waist for a cuddle.
“Maybe she’s pregnant,” Stefan unhelpfully adds. Looking over my shoulder at him, I glare and give him the evil eye. Pucking douche, I think to myself.
Kal pushes on my shoulders and grips my upper arms. “Are you?” he asks, staring intently at me.
My mouth opens and closes. I’m at a loss for what to say. I want to give him this as a Christmas present but I also know I’m a shitty liar and I don’t want Kal thinking the worst of me. I’m so pucking screwed, looks like I’m going to have to ruin my Christmas surprise. However, before I can confess, Stefan begins to gag from behind me and then he rushes into the bathroom I just exited. From where we are standing, we can hear him dry heaving through the door.
“Maybe you both have food poisoning?” Kal voices before stepping over and knocking on the door. “You okay, Däuchmen?”
“Fine,” he yells out before heaving again. Hearing him heaving sets me off and I race into the ladies’ restroom, but I don’t make it to the toilet, I throw up in the sink. A hand begins rubbing my back and I know it’s Kal. “Kal,” I whisper, “this is the ladies’ restroom.”
“I know, but my wife needs me.” Swoon, how can my va-jay-jay swoon to life when I have vomit mouth? “And I’m not going anywhere.”
“But your wife needs water, can you go get me some? Please?”
“Anything for you, baby.” He places a kiss on the back of my head and leaves me to dry-heave in peace. Looks like my stomach is finally empty.
Kal returns a few moments later with water and Lexi. “Babe, I need to leave you with Lex. Doucheman and I have to do our thing now.” He pauses and scrunches up his face. “I really hope he doesn’t vomit on me.”
“I’m sure you’ll both be fine. I’ll be out in a moment to watch you shine.”
“You just look after you.” He leans in for a kiss but I turn my head and vomit again, clearly my stomach wasn’t empty after all. He pats my head and leaves me with Lexi. “Ugh, this better pass,” I tell her.
“It will and if it helps, strong morning sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy.”
“Doesn’t really help, but I guess this ongo—” I don’t get to finish because I throw up the water I just drank.
“I really think you need to tell your husband, he’s so worried about you.”
“I know, but it was going to be his Christmas present. Lex,” I whine, “I don’t know if I can wait ‘til next week.”
“So give him his present early,” she suggests like the pucking genius she is.
My head snaps up and that light bulb clicks in my mind. “That’s perfect, why didn’t I think of that?”
“Probably ‘cause your head is always in the toilet or you’re stuffing your face with food. How it hasn’t clicked, I will never know.”
“Stefan guessed right away,” I tell her, “And … and I think he covered for me just now.”
“Huh?” she questions as I stand up and lean against the sink.
“Just before, I ran into him after throwing up and he said, I was pregnant. Pretty sure it was a joke, but he knew from my facial expression that I am. I asked him not to tell Kal and then Kal arrived and he heard me say that. I was at a loss for what to say, but then Stefan started to fake vomit, well, I think it was fake.”
Turning around, I wash my hands and think over what just happened. He was teasing me and then he was retching, did he just help me keep my secret? Or is he really sick? “Whatever the case, he just saved my ass.”
“Let me get this straight, Stefan Däuchmen just helped you keep a secret?”
“Yep.”
“Stefan Däuchmen didn’t throw you under the bus?”
Slowly I nod. “Mmmhmpf.”
“Are we in The Twilight Zone? ‘Cause, what the puck?”
“I know, right? But whatever the case, I need to get out there so I can see my man shine, and then I’m going to give him his Christmas present early ‘cause secrets and me aren’t good.” I nearly spilled the secret I know about her, but my brain kicked into gear and I kept my mouth shut. Look at me, I can keep a secret. We really must be in The Twilight Zone after all.
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